It happens to all of us at some point - we get on a good roll, with work, with fitness, with life - and then life happens.

This is a photo taken by my friend Joe Chandler, whom I worked with at Rocky Mountain National Park all those years ago - he named this sleepy owl “Lefty” and I’m guessing Lefty is having his own fitness funk…

We miss one workout, then another, and then before you know it, you haven’t worked out in weeks, or did any meal prep, and you feel like a sloth.

Sloths are pretty cute though, you have to admit….

When we start to feel like we’re behind on everything - then we start to get overwhelmed. And I don’t know about you, but when I’m overwhelmed, I’m also prone to anxiety and fits of existential despair, fearing that I’ll never amount to anything every and also I’m a horrible person.

It’s a completely logical place to to when you get off track, obviously.

Friday, I asked my therapist to hold me accountable to three workouts over the course of the next week. Yes, I asked my therapist to keep me accountable to my strength workouts. Here’s why:

My workouts are my domino - I know that when I get my workouts in, other habits fall into place. 

If you are off track or have found yourself in a fitness funk, you don’t need all of the things, even if you have all of the feels.

Stop thinking of all of the things you need to or want to do, and find one.   

What’s the one action that can take that will propel you forward with all of the other actions?

I have a list of things I’d like to do, and a bigger list of things I feel that I should do. The best way for me to get out from under the weight of those project lists is to focus on the one.

For me, it’s my workouts. When I get my workouts in, I feel better. When I feel better, I eat better. When I eat better and workout, I sleep better - and have better brain function and I'm a better coach, co-worker, and spouse. 

For instance, I have many clients tell me that they know that if they go grocery shopping, that meal planning happens more easily. And when meal planning happens, meal prep happens. When meal prep happens, they feel in better balance and like they have more energy. When they have more energy, they workout.

And on and on it goes. 

So what’s the one thing you need to do?

Perhaps you need to put your screens away and get into bed by 9:00, because you know that when you do that, you get more sleep and wake up feeling more rested. Maybe you need to hit your 10 minutes of meditation, or a morning walk with your dog or 30 minutes on that new Peleton in your basement. 

The bottom line is that you don’t have to figure out everything. Not today, and not tomorrow. 

You need to figure out the one thing. That one domino that will help all of the other ones fall into place. 

I was fortunate enough in college to have a mentor who also served as my spiritual director. He was a priest/professor with kind eyes, a soft voice, and a delightful habit of standing on his tip toes during sermons and lectures to drive home his point. 

He taught me many things before he died from cancer at the end of my junior year, but the most useful was creating purposeful ritual as a way to deal with change.

The college I attended was Catholic and if there is one thing I think Catholicism does well, it's ritual.

In fact one of the greatest helps to me in transitioning to a college that was several hours from home was attending mass on weekends. Despite the change in scenery, I took great comfort in following the same routine I’d followed every Sunday of my entire life.

So it’s no surprise that every time I found myself negotiating a change, Father Drexler’s suggestion was to ritualize it. 

What did he mean by that?

Establish a routine, but be very deliberate and purposeful about that routine. 

This can be especially helpful in dealing with transition - starting a new job - moving to a new house - but it can also be useful in changing a habit. 

When I first moved to Maine I was unemployed, and I set up a room in my house to workout. When it became clear that I needed to get out of the house during the day to preserve both my sanity and my relationship, I joined my first gym.

That’s right, I joined my first gym when I was 33. 

And it was intimidating - especially since it was a World Gym with 90% cardio machines and 10% weights. The weight area was mostly filled with men who seemed to know what they were doing. And then me.

Despite growing up around sports and athletics, going to the gym was stretching my comfort zone significantly and the first few weeks were awkward and uncomfortable for me. 

So I created a ritual. Before I left the house, and once I got to the gym. 

Before I left the house I made a protein shake, filled my water bottle, and printed out my program for the day. I made a playlist for the gym.

It was that simple and that boring. 

When I got to the gym, I did my foam rolling routine, which was the same everyday and still is six years later, and I followed my warm up from my program. I put my headphones in.

I used the same tiny area of the gym.

I listened to the same playlist. 

I took comfort in the ritual.

Regardless of the change you are wanting to make, find a way to ritualize the routine.

Make it yours.