Do something everyday that scares you.

I don't recall exactly where I read that advice; probably in some personal development book.

I would argue that living in the country, where I have seen both an actual rat and Bernie Sanders (my cat, not the human) walk into my house with AN ACTUAL LIVING SNAKE, delivers on that intention daily, but I don't think that's what the author had in mind.

I think the premise was more along the lines of pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone because growth happens when we're uncomfortable.

I can't say that I was actively looking for ways to make myself suffer challenge myself when I signed up for a stand up comedy class a few weeks back, but nonetheless, here we are.

On the first night, the teacher asked a student who had been in his class before to stand up and do a mini set. We all settled in with our notebooks to take notes while she performed.

Then, the teacher asked the next person to stand up and do the same.

By the time he got to the third person, terror was setting in. I leaned to the person next to me, asking if we were all going to have to get up and talk.

"I think so," she said, then looked at me. "Just lead with that look on your face and you'll be fine."

Here's the thing: I thought I was going to go to this class and just take notes and learn about stand up comedy. Sure there might be a performance at some point, but I thought that would come later.

My clumsy segue here is that I think that's how we approach not just new things, but change in general. In the model of change, this is considered the preparation phase.

I'm a huge fan of acquiring knowledge. Taking classes, reading books, listening to podcasts - I'm constantly interested in knowing more.

But I struggle sometimes with actually taking action with some of that knowledge because it requires me to make a change - and change is uncomfortable.

Yet when I think about some of the greatest breakthroughs I've had in my life, they have happened as a result of surviving discomfort. Going away for college, traveling the country with my softball team...

Heck, I even turned down the coaching job that changed my life initially, because I was so uncomfortable with the idea of teaching a large group fitness class.

I can't imagine what my life would look like today if I hadn't taken that risk.

Don't get me wrong - it took months before I started to feel more comfortable teaching those classes. And it was also the best thing that ever happened to me (I know most of you on this list as a direct result of accepting that job...)

When it was my turn to stand up at that first comedy class, I told the story of the rat in my house. Which was funnier when the rat was no longer in my house.

I've been terrified each time I've had to stand up in my first three classes, and I've survived each time.

The blessing, and growth, happens outside of your comfort zone.

I took a poetry workshop class in my senior year of college. Each week, two different students submitted a piece of work for the class to critique, and by the end of the semester, we submitted a collection of poetry for the final grade.*

This is what I look like when I've procrastinated. Yet again. 

The class cemented what had become my growing suspicion that I was terrible at poetry. One of my submissions for the class included these brilliant stanzas:

The sun is shining, the grass is green
Last time I checked I still had a spleen
I am happy.

I saw two lovers kiss on my way to class
A kid on school bus flashed me his ass
I am happy.

A fellow classmate suggested that this poem was exactly why people didn’t write about happiness. 

I grew so uncomfortable with the class that I put off the assignments at every opportunity. By the time my portfolio submission was due, I had little to work with, and no cover poem. So I opted for honesty and wrote the following piece:

Procrastinating Poet

Meant to write a poem. 
But the weather hasn’t been
quite
right
for writing poetry. 

I thought it was witty and maybe a tad clever, but my professor saw it for what it really was. A shoddy last-minute effort at my portfolio. She was kind to give me a B. 

Willpower and procrastination

Over the last few weeks, I’ve spend a lot of time reading about willpower - about decision fatigue and ego depletion and how willpower is a finite resource. We know that making a ton of decisions and resisting urges throughout the day can directly impact our self-control by the end of the day. So what is the solution to making better and healthier decisions when your willpower is depleted?

Here is a quote from the book I've been referencing (Willpower):

“Successful people don’t use their willpower as a last ditch defense to stop themselves from disaster, at least not as a regular strategy.” 

The writers of the book suggest that folks who use their self-control to avoid a crisis as opposed to surviving a crisis, have more success (defining success is another matter altogether). Taking your car to the mechanic for regular maintenance before it breaks down, seeing the dentist before the toothache, giving yourself enough time to finish a project - are all examples of playing offense instead of defense. 

When I got to this part of the book, I laughed out loud. Mostly because I'm on defense so often it's almost absurd.  

I’m such a procrastinator that years ago when I wrote a weekly newspaper column for the local paper in Pennsylvania, I titled the column “At the Last Minute.”

The column was due every Monday and each week I’d start an idea on Thursday, only to leave it unfinished until Monday night when I'd bang my head against a wall wondering how I could possibly have put off my column until the last minute, yet again. 

My chronic procrastination is a constant source of stress and depletes much of my willpower throughout the day.

So what to do? Well, the authors of the book make these suggestions to help me, and you, play offense instead of defense. 

1. Know your limits

Willpower is a limited resource and it’s depleted and used in more ways than we realize throughout the day. Walking past your co-worker's candy dish 25 times throughout the day and never indulging - dealing with computer or technology issues- going to the gym when you don’t want to - getting out of bed when your body needs more sleep - these all affect your willpower. Recognizing that you are going to be out of willpower by the time you go out with friends for dinner that night might help you better prepare to make a nutrition choice that is on par with your goals. (One suggestion in these situations is to order first, so as not to be influenced by the decisions of those around you.)

2. Make a to-do-list

This is one habit I've always done, mostly in an effort to brain dump and clear my head. When I don't make a list to get things out of my mind and onto a piece of paper, you can find me pacing the gym and muttering things under my breath. The gym is a stimulating environment, and I use a lot of willpower to just focus. Making a list helps me to get my tasks on paper and out of my mind, freeing up my unconscious, at least a little bit. 

3. Don't forget the basics 

As it turns out, our unconscious is also affected by subtle cues such as a clean desk and a made bed.** Although we might not care about whether our bed is made or the desk is clean, these environmental cues subtly influence your brain and your behavior, making it less of a strain to maintain self-discipline. 

4. Pick your battles

We can't control or predict the stresses in our life - the loss of a job - a breakup - a sick family member, but we can use the calm periods to play offense. We can use the less crazy times in our lives to make new changes, to start a new exercise program or make some nutrition changes or learn how to macrame. Because macrame is fun. I think.

If you are dealing with a major job change, move, or other significant life event, now is not that time to make big changes. 

5. The nothing alternative

I've used this strategy quite a bit in recent weeks, especially with writing. When I commit an hour to writing, I don't allow myself to do anything else with that hour. I'm allowed to not write - I can pace the room, pet my dog, scream at him in horror for eating a cricket - but I'm not allowed to do anything else - like check social media or email or Amazon.

I love the authors' suggestion of playing offense, even though it's not something I always do very well. We often try to make a ton of changes at once - recently I was trying to train for a marathon, write a page per day, while we packed up and moved our house. 

Eventually, I had to acknowledge that packing up and moving the house was too much of a strain to add the other pieces, and so I let them go for a few weeks. Now that we're moved, I've got more space in my life to commit myself to writing one page a day.  

All of these above recommendations are habit-based. The focus is not on trying a new diet or new exercise program, but in making a habit change to nutrition or exercise. You focus on one habit per week or per month to help keep the process less overwhelming.  

As the authors suggest, the most lasting technique for conserving willpower is building a habit. 

Learning to plan ahead, whether that's stocking your refrigerator with healthy foods, removing the tempting food from your house, or putting your gym bag on your front seat in the morning on your way to work, can help you conserve willpower and make the changes you want to make.

And sometimes you're going to come up short. Be kind to yourself in those moments though, ok?

* It's also fair to admit that the only time I was drunk before noon was the day that my friend and I had our poems presented for criticism at the workshop. 

** Right now my partner Sheila is reading this and wondering whether or not I'll adopt these habits...stay tuned...

Happy Saturday!

My first full week of being 40 has been filled with the norovirus. I'll wait while you google that if you're unfamiliar.

You're welcome. Hopefully I only share that special kind of hell verbally and not physically.

Also, when I renewed my driver's license, I was informed that I had to take an eye exam because I'm "over 40."

This isn't on the list, but smoothies are a great way to get some quality nutrition. In the picture above, I've got almond milk, a scoop of vanilla protein powder, greek yogurt, berries, and a greens supplement. 

Let the games begin.

I joke, but a friend put it best the other day: enjoy the privilege of aging. 

Anyway, a full four days of ginger ale has me thinking full steam about nutrition and the kinds of food I plan to eat when I starting putting solid food back in my system. So with that in mind, here are five random thoughts on nutrition:

1. Track your food for a week

It sounds so basic, but the best way to figure out how to make changes to your diet is to spend some time tracking everything you eat.

And I mean everything.

Apps like MyFitnessPal have made this process much easier, as you can scan a barcode, type in the serving amount, and voila! You have your total calorie amount.

The catch is to track everything and to be totally honest for one week. This includes salad dressings, drinks, snacks, apples, chocolate chips, supplements; track it all.

2. Measure your food

This goes along with the first thought, but measuring your food for a few days can be very helpful. Let me tell you how I felt when I measured out an actual serving of Trader Joe's Trail Mix versus what I felt was a serving.

Very. Sad. In. My. Heart.

Measuring is especially important with any oils or dressings your using. I've seen folks who practice clean eating and don't  see the results they expect. Often it comes down to something as simple as recognizing you were using three tablespoons of olive oil on your salad instead of one tablespoon.

Three tablespoons equate to 360 calories and 42 grams of fat. 

But it's easy to over-use if you don't measure. 

3. Find like-minded people who support your nutrition changes  

When you begin to turn down the sweets around the office or french fries when out with friends, others often react to what your personal changes mean about them. If you're cutting down on carbs and I'm not, I might suddenly feel guilty that I'm not joining you. So my reaction, sometimes without even thinking about it, is to pressure you. 

"It's just one night."

"You're going to the gym every day."

"It's just dessert." 

The bottom line is finding a supportive group of people who respect your wishes. Sure it's ok to indulge now and then when you're making these changes. But if you're constantly swimming upstream because no one around is supporting your decisions, it will be a lot harder to stay the course.  

4. Make small changes 

Overhauling your entire nutrition plan is a lot to ask. And yet almost all of us do it, and many of us are caught in a cycle of doing it over and over again. First of all, we're overwhelmed with the amount of options out there, and it's hard to decide which one is right. 

Whichever route you decide to take, practice changing one habit per week. (Tracking your food intake can help you make these decisions). 

Start with the empty calories in drinks. Sodas, iced teas, even some types of flavored waters can have 45-90 calories. 

Are you eating two breakfasts? Do you eat when you get up and then eat again a few hours later? Try eliminating one of those meals and see how you feel. Sometimes we eat out of habit, and not out of hunger. 

5.Practice the 80/20 rule.

Some of the simplest nutritional advice I've ever seen is from Tony Gentilcore. "Don't eat like an a**hole." It's concrete, to the point advice, that might lack some details but sums up the basic idea behind clean eating.

Most of us know what we need to do, it's just a question of doing it. Eating clean is simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

It's also nearly impossible to eat perfectly all of the time. Thanksgiving is next week; there will be pie, and turkey and gravy and pie. The 80/20 rule means that you're eating clean at least 80% of the time, and understanding that 20% of the time you're going to be at family gatherings or on vacations where you can't stick to all of the same habits. Allow for those times. 

And enjoy your Saturday.