Last week, on one of my walks I saw a praying mantis.

I usually see roadkill on my walks; squirrels that couldn't make up their mind and so a car made up their mind for them...so seeing the praying mantis was a nice break.

I googled the symbolism of the praying mantis and it turns out, it's a sign of good luck.

Which I'll take any old time, but especially now when I'm less than two weeks removed from my first stand up comedy performance.

I know I mentioned taking a stand up class a few weeks ago, but the truth is, I've wanted to try stand up comedy from the time I was 12 years old.

Once I learned that playing professional baseball was out.

My brothers and I had a VHS of stand up comedians that we'd ordered with Pop Tart box tops. Given that we didn't have cable, we had a short rotation of VHS tapes to watch, and this was in the mix.

I was absolutely enamored with the comedy, especially Paula Poundstone. So I memorized her routine, and started writing my own jokes.

Then one day in my seventh grade science class, I let it be known to my teacher that I wanted to try stand up comedy. He invited me to tell a joke, and I did.

It went over the way you think a 13 year old's joke might go over and I'll never forget what he said.

"It's all in the delivery. I could have told that joke and had everyone rolling on the floor."

His comment, and the tone that he used, made me feel so stupid. So stupid. I was full of regret for having said anything. Though it took me years to realize it, his response to my enthusiasm that day wounded me on multiple levels.

I completely abandoned any ideas about trying comedy after that.

I didn't realize just how much I'd taken that comment to heart until last year. Well over 30 years later.

If you've ever endeavored to write or create art and found yourself with a block, you may have come across the book "The Artist's Way." In it, she talks about the artistic wounds many artists have that they don't realize they have.

Maybe someone told you that you couldn't make a living with your music. Or that drawing was fine, but you should pursue graphic design instead of being an artist.

I'm going to make another clumsy segue here, but a relevant one nonetheless; those same kind of comments around fitness, nutrition and movement are what many of my clients carry.

Sometimes they don't even know that these comments have stuck with them.

Being told they were too slow, too uncoordinated, getting picked last for kickball; I have seen all of these wounds show up for people when it comes to trying new things.

Like strength training.

You might know that we feel hesitant or resistant to trying it, but you might not know why.

I have a client who was a Division I athlete who told a story about being shamed regarding her swimsuit and told to lose weight.

And many clients who endured side-ways comments and glances from well intending parents regarding food choices and their clothing choices.

A lot of these comments were made in passing, but the impact can last a lifetime.

We all carry emotional scars. But sometimes we don't recognize the ways these scars and experiences still affect us as adults.

The first step in making any kind of change is awareness. Which is why I mention this story at all - when we are aware of something and how we've been affected by it, we can learn to address it.

Once I remembered this comment from a teacher (I'd forgotten about it for a long time - but I lived with its effects nonetheless), I could take a look at my limiting beliefs about taking a class or trying an open mic night.

The process of change is awareness, unwinding (the belief or the habit), and then capacity building.

Is there something that you've always wanted to do or try but you think you never could do that? If so, do you know why?

Last weekend I was back in PA to visit family and was having a conversation with my cousin, who is doing a trial on my app.

“Yeah I used it once, but then I just couldn’t keep it going.”

I asked if she was working out at home or in the gym, and she said she was trying to make it work at home.

Not getting up to work out because Vinnie is on my lap is an excuse…no matter what I tell myself.

“But my bedroom is too small, the basement is freezing and my husband is home all of the time right now and I don’t want to work out in the living room in front of him,” she said. Then, without me saying anything, she continued. “I know, I know – just a bunch of excuses.”

Our conversation was cut a bit short, but this is my answer (I know you’re reading this cuz…)

I don’t think any of the things mentioned above are excuses. I really don’t.

I think they’re limiting factors.

What’s the difference?

A quick google search gives the definition of excuse as: an attempt to defend or justify.

Explaining that you’re late for work for the 33rd day in a row because your dog wouldn’t get off your lap is an excuse (though in our house, it’s reason enough to get out of doing certain things….)

I never want to shove Angelo off my lap, but I absolutely can.

Limiting factors are things in our environment that can get in our way, or add a layer to the execution of a task.

For instance, let’s say that your goal is to walk 5k steps every day (click here if you want to join this week’s challenge in the Kim Lloyd Fitness Neighborhood on that one). If you live in an area with well-maintained sidewalks, then it’s likely a matter of putting on your shoes and going.

If you don’t have sidewalks and live on a busy road with no room to walk, then you need to:

A. Choose a place to walk – local gym treadmill? Mall? Trails?

B. Negotiate the weather – if you live in the Northeast, it’s been pouring lately.

C. Have a means to get to the place to walk. Do you have a car?

D. Factor in the time to drive to the place, get your walk in, and drive back.

The thing about physical fitness is that it doesn’t occur in a vacuum, but the industry makes it feel that way. Our environment, social situation, emotional health, and mental health all affect each other.

So what does that mean?

I think it's the difference between feeling shame for not executing on a task and realizing that in order to make a physical change, it might mean making some environmental changes first.

If you want to workout at home but are struggling, can you create a space that feels comfortable? Get heat in the basement, kick the hubby out for a few hours, find a different space where you can put down an exercise mat, put on some music and make it yours for 20 minutes? (I'm not just talking to my cousin here..)

If the answer is no, can you join a gym?

The thing is, when it comes to making behavior change, nothing is too small to feel like a big deal.

Most mornings when I get up, I dress myself in workout clothes.

Granted, that’s both the luxury in working in the fitness industry and in working for myself.

But I do it for another reason.

My dogs are a big part of my environment - sometimes I delay myself to stop and snuggle and pet them, but I believe it makes me a better human, so there’s that…

It’s one of my hacks for getting my workouts in. Because whether we think about it or not, what we are wearing and what is on our person is a part of our environment that can heavily influence our behaviors. I don’t find leggings exceptionally comfortable, but I won’t let myself change until I’ve gotten my workout in.

Closely looking at environment is one of the places I like to start with clients in the journey of “I know what I need to be doing, I’m just not doing it.”  

Here are some of the environmental factors to consider:

Body

What are you wearing? If one of your goals is to walk every day at lunch, are you wearing shoes that will allow you to do that? Are you wearing a fitness tracker or fitness watch? Is it set to remind you to stand up from your desk and do a lap around the office?

As a note, for most of us, our phone could be considered part of our body because we have it in hand or on our person most of the time.

Reach

The next part of the environment is what is within reach?

One of my favorite stories for untangling a habit is the 20 second rule from researcher Shawn Achor. He wanted to untangle the habit of coming home from work and immediately turning on the television after sitting on his couch. He discovered that if he moved the remote far enough away that it would take him at least 20 seconds to retrieve it, he wouldn’t turn the t.v. on.

What is within reach for you right now?

Several of my clients leave some of their exercise equipment out because it’s a visual reminder about their goals, and makes it easier to just grab and do a couple of sets.

Much to Sheila’s chagrin, I like to leave whatever book I’m reading on a small table in our dining room. It drives her crazy, but because the book is already sitting on the table, when I sit down with my morning coffee, the book is right there, which helps me stay on task with my morning reading (which I acknowledge for those of you with children is a luxury…)

Room

During the pandemic, one of the most common struggles from clients trying to work out at home was the distraction of dust bunnies or piles of laundry. They would start working out and then get so overwhelmed by all the tasks calling to them that they would bag their workout.

How is your room set up right now? Is it cluttered? Organized? Filled with dog hair (or is that just my house…).

What kind of vibe does the room have?

How might it influence you and your goals?

If you struggle with sleeping, you might want to give a quick audit of the room where you sleep. Are there lots of small blue lights from charging electronics when you turn the light off? Is there laundry piled all around the bedroom? Are the shades broken?

No detail is too small, and if it bothers you now, in the middle of the day when you’re looking at your room, it will bother you later.

The Entire Place

Where are you right now?

Not only does every place contain different things and people within it, but each place also has a different cultural environment, with rules and norms that might influence your behavior.

This is the final layer of our environment we can access fairly easily, or without a lot of effort. And, it’s an environment that, to some degree, we usually still have a fair bit of control over.

I go back and forth between working out at home and working out at the gym. For most of this year I’ve been working out at the gym, in large part because I want to be in a place where other people are getting after it, and I want to listen to loud music, not necessarily through my headphones. When I’m at home working out, the dogs are constantly getting in my space (adorable but not practical), the music has to be low because Sheila is working from home, and it’s just me.

Our needs will change in terms of what we may need from a certain place, but it’s important to tune into those needs to have a sense of what factors will help us build and stick to our routine.