Fun fact that none of you asked about...

I am now, officially, post menopausal.

Or post menopause.

Not sure of the language.

Either way, last year, before I started chemo, my oncologist warned that chemotherapy would kick me into menopause. I didn't think a whole lot about it until a month or two later, when I suddenly felt the need to strip off all of my clothes in the middle of a restaurant.

It actually happened a few times (the hot flashes, not any stripping in public) before I put two and three together to get ten and realized that I was having hot flashes.

And they suuuuuuuuuuuck.

Because most of my clients are in their 40's and older, I have a lot of conversations about menopause and weight loss - specifically, why is it so much harder to lose weight as we age?

Is my metabolism broken?

What about that stubborn bellyfat?

Why do the Pirates break my heart every year? What can I actually do about managing my health and my weight?

In my latest podcast, I sit down with Allison Poole, a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic health and integrated women's health coaching. Allison is my go-to person any time I have questions about menopause.

I learned a ton in this episode, and I think you will too.

​Click here to listen on the interwebz ​
​​Click here to listen on Apple podcasts
​Click here to listen on Spotify​

If you follow me on social media, you know that I started a challenge for the month of April, entitled “Bail on the Scale.”

I promoted said challenge with the following video.

Yes, I have feelings about the scale.

I have feelings about our obsession with the scale. 

So I took it out of the bathroom at work. 

And I ran one over with my car. 

For many of us, and women especially, the scale becomes the central ingredient to failure and success. This device is so defining and confirms what writer Annie Lamott refers to as our inner sense of disfigurement.

Our inner sense of disfigurement. There's a loaded phrase. 

I know that there is something so wrong and so broken in me that if other people truly saw what I see, they wouldn’t want to spend time with me. They wouldn’t be my friend. They wouldn’t love me. We have this sense that we are flawed beyond measure but that no one sees it but us. We walk around waiting for someone to discover this hidden secret within us, knowing that the moment our horrible true selves become visible, we will be appropriately banished from their lives. 

We feel so strongly about this disfigurement that when people acknowledge us with something so daring as a compliment, we don't even know what to do with ourselves. 

We deflect kind words. 

“You look fantastic!”

“Oh well, I found this dress on sale for 20 bucks and it fits me alright I guess. I mean at least it hides my love handles.”

Responses like these are so second nature we probably don't even know that we do it.

"You did a terrific job with that presentation today."

"Well I tripped over a few words and that middle slide sucked so I'm surprised anyone knew what I was talking about."

I couldn't be more guilty of this one. Yesterday a friend paid me a compliment about my blog. And my first response?

"I wish I was doing a better job."

We bring our best Eyore to someone else's Tigger when it comes to a compliment. 

I also started this scale challenge because we need to stop chasing good enough. Forget chasing happiness. There is a cultural obsession that once we reach a certain number on the scale, a certain pant size, a certain waist size, we will finally be good enough. 

It's a tremendous burden to walk around with that kind of shame. And yet many of us, men and women alike, do it day in and day out. We all have our measuring sticks and qualities that we're trying to develop and goals we want to achieve. Goal weight is a big one - but we're also trying to measure success in our careers, as parents, as spouses, as humanitarians - but when can we rest in the arm chair of good enough? 

I can't answer that question. I'm pretty obsessed with figuring out what it means to be a good enough coach and writer. But I'm trying to ask. I'm trying to pay attention. That's what I've got for now. 

I don't know what will come of the four week bail on the scale challenge. 

But in the first week, people are supporting one another, a women posted an early morning selfie with her two beautiful children, and one woman has taken to flipping off the scale every time she walks by. 

Maybe, just maybe, we can begin the conversation of realizing that while it is important to establish goals and work towards them, it's equally important to delight in today, and to learn to appreciate that we are good enough right now, here, in this moment. 

Yeah, I kind of did the click bait thing there again. But I'm experimenting with new headlines this year. :)

I took the scale out of the bathroom at our gym this week.

Removing the scale was kind, as what I really want to do is take a sledge hammer to it. And while it was 95% about helping our clients stay in a positive mindset when they come in to workout, if I’m being totally honest, it was also about keeping me in a positive mindset.

Though I discourage clients from using the scale as progress, I don’t always practice what I preach. Partly because every time I go in to pee, I’m just sitting there staring at the scale and can’t resist the urge to get on it. 

It’s there, I’m curious, I get on it, and depending on what I see for a number, it shakes up my day a little, even though I know better. And I see it happen with our clients often. They come in to work out, look like they’re having a bad day, and when they finally admit what’s bugging them, they confess that they got on the scale and hadn’t dropped any pounds since last week. 

Or in some cases, yesterday. 

I took the scale out Tuesday morning, and on Tuesday night, I got an interesting text from one of our clients:

“So you took the scale out of the bathroom and about half way through my work out. When I pointed at you is about when I realized you had derailed my usual inner monologue. Instead of demeaning myself during my workout because once again I did not lose 10 pounds since I stepped on the scale the day before my, head was clearer. I also noticed I felt more positive in what I was doing.”

That’s some pretty good self-awareness on her part, but I think sometimes we don’t even realize the kind of inner dialogue that creeps up on us when we do decide to see how much we weigh. That number affects us, many times more than we want to admit. And while we can intellectually tell ourselves that we are ok and we are doing good things all day long, trying to overcome that emotional connection to our weight can feel nearly impossible. 

I’ve written about the scale before, and how it sucks as a way to measure progress. Muscle weighs more than fat, so as you build muscle and lose fat you may even see your weight go up depending on where you start. Use a pair of pants that used to fit a certain way. If you need a number to look at, measure your waist in centimeters.  

But for the love of all things holy, take that &^%(*%^&)(*^%$*()(#$ scale out of your bathroom.