The other day, I posed a question on my FB page asking folks what their biggest barriers are to hitting their goals.

And a number of people gave a similar answer:

Me. Me, myself and I. I am my biggest barrier.

I know that many of you reading this post right now might be thinking along similar lines. That you are your own problem. And I get that. I get the feeling that you are the one responsible for either making the change or not making the change. You are responsible for your successes or failures. Extreme ownership right?

(Except many of you out there would likely share the ownership of your success but take full responsibility for any shortcomings…)

But if you believe that you are your own worst enemy, and that you are the reason that you can’t get where you want to go, then there’s not much room for you to recognize what your best solution really is.

You. You are your best solution.

But you can’t play that role if you are too busy kicking yourself for all that you haven’t done. You can’t dig out the best part of you when you’re so busy beating yourself down for your lesser parts.

Can you actually believe that you are capable of achieving certain things while you’re so busy believing that you are your biggest problem? I know I often talk about the concept of both/and. But I’m not sure it works here. I’m not sure that you can play yourself both ways.

Take out a piece of paper right now. I’ll wait.

………

Write down five positive traits that you believe to be true about yourself. Can you do that? Can your write down five things? You’re creative, you’re funny, you’re caring, you’re sensitive, you’re remarkably good at darts, even though no one ever taught you (it comes in handy sometimes).

Much like the idea of a gratitude journal, you have to actively look for and acknowledge the positive traits you have. You need to take a few minutes to do that. Because until you do, until you can look yourself in the mirror and go all Stuart Smalley, you are going to keep filling yourself with the negative self-talk that provides the very barriers you’re trying to overcome.

If you want to make changes in 2020, then you need to stop the self-limiting beliefs about yourself. You are your best solution. But you have to start showing up for yourself the way you show up for your friends. You really do.