A Place in the Sun - Time for a Change

A few months ago, I was driving to work when an old Stevie Wonder song came on:

“Like a long, lonely stream, I keep running towards a dream. Moving on. Moving on.”

It was a bright fall day, the leaves were bursting with colors and I liked the song so well that I played it again. And again. And again.

“There’s a place in the sun, where there’s hope for everyone, where my poor restless heart gotta’ run…”

The song made me think, quite literally, of my goal of living in San Diego for part of the year – and of designing a life that allows me to give in to the wanderlust I’ve always had in my heart.

I’ve lived in Maine for almost 12 years – longer than anywhere else, aside from my childhood home.

But I’ve always known that at some point, I’d want to leave the confines of a regular schedule and set out to live my life differently.

Which is why, as many of you know from Tuesday’s Facebook post from Doug, I’m leaving my Spurling Family at the end of February.

Thank you to all who have reached out to me since that post – and thank you to everyone who commented. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude.

When I say that this was a difficult decision, I mean that it turned me inside out and upside down and I’ve been spontaneously crying on and off for the past few weeks.

Sheila told me that when you leave a job that you’ve poured your soul into, it’s not just a transaction – it’s a grieving process. And while I know in my heart of hearts that it’s time for this poor restless heart to run, I also know that I’m leaving a big piece of my heart in the Spurling community.

It’s been almost six years-worth of learning, laughing, crying, growing, and straight up ridiculousness. (It may surprise you to learn that those were my first pair of go go boots...)

These past two years especially, when I see the work that other people are doing, I count myself lucky to put on yoga pants and wear inflatable costumes for a living.

***

As with many good things though, this part of my life was almost very short-lived.

In the summer of 2016, despite loving my first few months at Spurling, I wasn’t going to stay. My hour commute was a bit much, especially when it came to working the shorter Saturday shifts and leaving my house at 4:00 in the morning.

So, Doug, Josh, Trent, and Chris all made the concession that if I stayed, I wouldn’t have to work Fridays or Saturdays.

Doug gave me a raise.

I will be forever grateful to the guys for making that effort to keep me around. I’d never felt so wanted and so appreciated in a work situation; and I’ve done my best to give back the generosity and kindness I've received. But I can never repay the generosities of Chris, Josh and Trent especially, giving up time with their own families so I could stick around.

I’m overcome with gratitude for so many of the opportunities I have had because of Spurling, and because of Doug Spurling specifically.

Doug gave me the opportunity write a weekly post in 2016. His encouragement helped me to share my own very personal, very private struggle with depression. Many of you think of me as being open with my vulnerabilities, but I promise that until 2016, that wasn’t my way.

Doug is the reason I learned how to do a podcast. When I came home and told Sheila we were doing a podcast, she asked how it happened.

“Well……” I said. “Doug thought it…and when Doug thinks it, it happens."

Doug is the reason I started running workshops at the gym. (See above…)

The best lesson I’ve learned from Doug over the years is to “ship it.” When you’ve spent a lifetime overthinking the way I have, those two very powerful words can be life-changing.

***

When I was in college and in my early twenties, searching for my place in this world, it never occurred to me that I could really be my own boss.

From Doug, I have learned about what’s possible.

So, I’m going to do my own thing. I have a second book coming out this spring, and I’m moving into the world of corporate wellness – doing more workshops and speaking and getting certified as a Corporate Fitness Specialist.

For Christmas, Sheila bought me a Jackie Robinson t-shirt, with the quote on the back "A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives." That is my only mission as I move forward on this crazy and awesome journey. To have an impact on others' lives.

And just as importantly, to allow others to have an impact on my life. I can promise that each of you reading this have had an impact on mine.

I am still grieving this change, and if I cry a little next time I see you, I hope you’ll forgive me. That’s just me, thanking you for trusting me with a small part of your journey.