I had the good fortune to stay with some coaching friends in Southern California last week, waking up to this view:

I started each day with a cold plunge, sunshine, and meditation on the beach. Reading, hanging out with their three legged chihuahua named Chapo, it was an opportunity to unplug, decompress, and spend some time working on my vision, both for myself and for my business.

Except that I had trouble relaxing, didn't appreciate how much time it might take to actually decompress, and was working on my vision, while also trying to relax, while also planning my next workshop....

So...note to self. Maybe don't have an agenda for your down time...

Hanging out with other coaches can be a great way to have your language and behavior reflected back to you, and the one word I was using way more than I realized was try.

I'm conscious that try is considered back-door language - it gives you an out from fully making a commitment. There's a reason Yoda said to Luke "there is no try, only do or not do."

And yet there were several moments where I slipped that word in when I was talking about my vision for the year, only to have my friends rephrase the sentence for me.

"You're not trying," Colin said. "You're doing."

A major component of the visioning process is clear intention, which is why most visioning exercises encourage you to write your goals as though they have already happened.

Think about it like you are planning a vacation. If you call a travel agency and say you would like to try to visit Italy, would they book a flight for you?

The same is true for being wishy-washy. If you called a travel agent and said you wanted to go to Italy...no wait, Ireland...no wait, New Zealand, you're not going to get anywhere.

I don't think most of us consciously want to give ourselves an out for behavior change - we equate the word "try" with putting forth effort. We are working on accomplishing something. Effort is important, yes.

So is language.

I am trying to eat healthier.

I am eating healthier.

When you talk about change, talk about it with intention. It makes a difference.

Did you click on this post just to figure out what in great Uncle Teddy's sake I meant by "toul?"

Cool. I don't use clickbait a lot, but cheers if you're here.

By toul, I mean towel. But occasionally my Pittsburgh accent comes out and according to Sheila, I don't pronounce the "w" in towel. So what I say rhymes with foul.

Seriously though. This is the time of year when overwhelm starts to set in and people decide they're going to just bag whatever fitness or healthy routine they've been working on and restart again in the new year.

But hear me out: even if the new year is less busy with social and holiday obligations, it may very well be busy for other reasons.

There is never a good time to do this work. Never.

Sometimes you have more space in your life than others for sure. But it's December 10th. There are 21 days left in this month. There is time to put some attention toward whatever behavior change you're working on.

Attention energizes.

You can continue putting some attention on the behaviors you want to adopt. Maybe not all of your attention. But some.

This is the best time to challenge the all or nothing mindset. Right now.

What are you going to pay attention to in order to finish the year strong?

Get it.

I forget.

Sometimes in my effort to squeeze the most out of a day, a week, a month; I get so lost in the doing that I forget about just being.

This morning I started to type a completely different post when Angelo, my basset hound, jumped up off his chair and ran to the window, wagging.

Every morning he sits in the chair opposite me, while I read or write or do work and he looks out the window, waiting for the neighbors to walk their dogs down the driveway.

Then he runs to the window and wags and this morning, that moment brought me pure joy.

A few days ago I marked the one year anniversary of walking out the doors of the Maine Med cancer floor and ringing the bell for my last round of chemo.

It was late at night. I was filled with fluid from the mass dose of steroids, my eyes a pale pink from the previous 100 hours of poison that had been pumped into my body.

On the way out, with my Squishmallow under my arm, my friend and my wife at my side, I stole guilty glances into the other rooms. In doing laps with my IV pole, I passed these patients multiple times, aware that many people were never leaving the hospital.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I was registering the first parts of survivorship.

The guilt that, given a second chance, I was going to do more - to live my life at full tilt to honor all those who would never walk out of those doors.

When I look back on the past year, I feel like I've done quite a bit. Recently though, I've been way more caught up in the doing than the being.

I've been asking all of my clients what one thing they would like to focus on in these last four weeks of the year. There are many areas of health - so your focus might be physical, or maybe it's emotional, mental, or something else.

For me, I'm spending a bit more time "being." Which for me, means setting work and projects aside, and tuning in to my five senses a little more.

What do you want to focus on for December?

I'd love to hear from you.