Finding the Other Side of Yourself

Years ago, I was sitting on a rock along the ocean on Bailey’s Island, breathing in with the waves and tilting my face toward the sun. I was on a path that ran parallel to the ocean, but had only walked a few yards before realizing that my injured foot wasn’t going to make it. I told my friends to keep going and parked myself on a bench.

It was a popular path, and a number of people passed me as I sat there. Most of them nodded to me, a few said hello, but I was more than content not to have a conversation with anyone. It was a Sunday and I spent most of my days talking, listening, and coaching all week. I’d unplugged and come to the ocean to recharge.

A man and woman, clad in cycling gear nodded to me as they walked by. But as the path wasn’t a loop, once they reached the end of the trail, they passed me for a second time. This time, the man stopped and struck up a conversation.

I groaned inwardly. I really wasn’t in the mood for a chat. But, not wanting to be rude, I answered his question about how I injured my foot, and then his wife offered that he was a physical therapist. I braced myself for unsolicited advice from a stranger.

But that’s not what happened. At least, he didn’t dispense the kind of advice I thought he would.

We spoke briefly about how hard it is to do the right thing when you need to be active to feed your soul. I’d guess he was in his 50’s or 60’s, and he took off his sun glasses and asked me to do the same.

Then he bent to my level and looked me in the eyes. “You know what you need to do,” he said, and I saw the light reflecting off of his blue eyes. “Take this time to find the other side of yourself.”

His wife went on to tell me of the cutting boards he made and the songs he learned on the guitar while his injury healed.

We both put out sunglasses back on. The two of them moved along the path and back to their bikes. I remember chewing on his words, and I know I wrote a short blog post about it back then. A few weeks ago, when I announced my cancer diagnosis on social media, a friend reminded me of that stranger’s words.

If ever there was a time when I need to find the other side of myself, it is now. And man it’s been hard. I realized that most of my hobbies include being active; golfing or working out. I’m playing my guitar more, so there’s that. But I’m also at loose ends a lot. The driving, pushing, pulling need to be productive with this time is intense. Finding the other side of myself means slowing down, stopping and listening.

Saturday I alphabetized my vinyl record collection. I hung new photos in my office. And realized that my number one hobby is really working on my business because productivity.

Anyway, I’m certainly in the process of finding the other side of myself, and open to suggestions. I’ve struggled with coloring and crossword puzzles.

But I’m forever thankful to that stranger who offered me the new perspective. I may have needed it in 2018, but I really need it in 2023.