A new take on your "to do" list

Last week, a client and I were chatting when she made a very valid observation. I often write about what’s not working – where people are struggling – and all of the habits that aren’t sticking.

I take this approach for good reason; as a coach I need to focus on the problems that clients need to solve because I’m not only in the service industry, but I’m in a behavior-based service industry and the bulk of what I’m trying to do is help people identify and overcome the obstacles getting in their way.

Part of that process is bringing awareness to certain thought patterns and behaviors that don't work.

Recently though, I’ve started implementing something that one of my friends calls her “to done” list. At the end of every day, she writes down all of the things that she has accomplished throughout the day.

It was a forehead slap moment when she told me of this practice.

This approach is loaded with so much possibility because people change best by feeling good, not by feeling bad.

Let me say that one more time:

People change best by feeling good, not by feeling bad.

Most of us, especially women in my experience, really struggle with celebrating what we already do well. More than likely, we might – might – give a slight nod towards something that we did, before immediately shifting gears to what we didn’t do.

Yes, I wrote a book and hand-made my pre-schooler a costume out of yarn that I spun myself from llamas in my yard, but I didn't meal prep. I suck.

You think that's an exaggeration, but trust me, not by much. You'd be surprised what people are unwilling to give themselves credit for.

You might be thinking that making a list has the same effect, and while I understand that there is a satisfaction for many people in crossing certain things off of their list, I think that a "done" list takes the process a step further.

I think writing out everything you've done in a day is more powerful because you are actively spending brain power on physically writing out the good stuff. Not just crossing it off – but actually writing and reading to yourself the things you have done.

We know that progress breeds motivation.

So we need to give ourselves every opportunity to create a moment in each day where we feel good about what is happening. And not the lifetime of trash talk that tells us what we don't do.

Tonight, tomorrow night, this week - make your to done list.

And celebrate the good.