When you just don't feel like it

Not gonna lie - the hardest part about writing? Doing it when I don’t feel like doing it. 

Kind of like today.

I got up early, sat down at my desk and opened up a blank document. As I watched the fog roll over the meadow in my back yard, I did more staring than I did writing. I started, I stopped, I got up, I paced, I sat down again.

Finally I packed up my stuff and drove to my local Starbucks so that I could get at least an hour of writing in. 

I don't always manage to write when I don't feel like it, so what made me do it today?  

Well, according to my recent research on motivation, it’s probably meaning. And mastery. It’s important to me - very important to me - to become a good writer. I've always known that. 

It’s also very important to me that I write a book someday. 

I've known that too. 

My long term goal isn't what motivated me today though. Today, it was important to me that I get up and write a newsletter to all of you, because it's my goal to write to you every single week. 

So even though I really didn’t feel like writing today, I persisted because my goal has meaning to me. 

When I solicit suggestions for topics to write about, motivation is at the top of the list. Followed by finding time to workout. I understand not feeling motivated - I wrote a post awhile back discussing that anxiety and depression is often the fear of wasting your life but no urge to be productive. 

That can be a really difficult river to row some days.  

It’s the reason that finding your “why” becomes so important. 

I think what's changed for me recently when it comes to finding my why for writing a book, is this - I want my dad to be around to see it’s publication. 

I don't think I've always been aware of that. 

Now, he’s a very young 71 (almost 72), and there are no guarantees, but he’s had faith in me from day one that I’d write a book. I’m not writing the book for him - but I’m feeling very motivated to put something together and get it published when he can see it and feel proud. 

So what do you do when you just don't feel like doing something? 

Find the meaning in it for you. I mean peel off layer after layer after layer. 

And then peel off some more layers. 

It's not the possibility of success and money that fuels me to write my book. It's seeing a proud look on my dad's face and having him throw a sideways hug and telling me he's proud of me. 

What is it that gives you meaning? 

I'd love to hear from you.